Reluctance
by Muses' Advocate
Summary: The last thing Estella Bolger needs is to fall in love. An old family friend, however, might just be willing to go to all ends to change that... (EstellaMerry. No slash or graphic violence. Rating may go up in the future.)
1. Of Dreams and Geraniums

Author's Note: First fic, sorry if it sucks. Feel free to flame me. I like to use them for roasting Orcs. On that same note, I would like to thank Tidbit (my muse, who is an Orc), Hans (my window blind- such a sweetheart), and Edgar (the wall I always talk to for Speech.) I love you guys!  
  
Disclaimer- I own nothing but my muses and my clichéd "imagination". Please don't sue me, I can't afford to go without elevensies again.  
  
Of Dreams and Geraniums  
  
The moon's huge, luminous face shone down on the sleeping countryside. The night was clear, though the air still bore a pale, lingering odor of rain. The grass danced with silver flame; the pleasant breeze rippled the otherwise still surface of an otherwise glassy pond. Under an apple tree, shadowed by it's maiden flowers, a pair of young lovers sat. The male was broad-shouldered and strong, the female the very epitome of loveliness. Their hands brushed across the other's from where their fingers rested on the grass. Looking deep into each other's eyes, they murmured vows of eternal and undying love, their faces drawing ever closer, until it seemed the moon itself would break with all the possibilities lying in the field below her. Then, just before their lips met...  
  
...Estella woke up retching. "That was a truly disgusting dream," she informed a potted flower on her windowsill. "And I hereby vow on you, little geranium, that if ever I shall lower myself to such things, I shall ask the Earth to swallow me whole without delay." As an afterthought, she added, "And my...err...lover as well." The very word 'lover' made her want to gag. Affection was a useless thing. It did nothing but hinder those who associated with it. Of course, friends were fine, and her family too, but frolicking giddily with a lad through sun-drenched fields was not her idea of sweet. Especially if it were one of the lads from her own village. She realized she was giving herself a stomachache from thinking such putrid thoughts and abandoned them entirely.  
  
She stood in front of her mirror for a moment. Knotted brown curls framed a round, tanned face spattered unceremoniously with freckles. Wide brown eyes- _buggy piles of cow manure_, she thought- made her look more alert and attentive than she usually was. Which, of course, was perfect for masking daydreams during the "Lady Lessons" her mother forced her to attend. At the moment, gazing at her own reflection, Estella pictured herself in a tunic and trousers, bravely fighting Orcs and evil Men without the assistance of shining mail, helm nor hauberk, only her trusty sword. Grabbing a walking stick leaning in the corner, she made sure her bedroom door was tightly closed and there was no one roaming the yard outside her window before stuffing the trailing edge of her nightgown into the top of her bloomers and striking a pose. "Hiii- YAH!!" she threatened imaginary Orcs in a stage whisper. "Come at me, foul beasts, and I'll show just how much damage one wee Hobbit lass can do!"  
  
Her brother Fredegar walked in as she was hewing down an Oliphaunt bearing a score of Easterlings. Still twirling, slashing, and stabbing the invisible enemy, she was completely oblivious to Fatty's presence. After a moment of amused silence, Fatty tapped his sister on the shoulder from behind. She stopped abruptly and turned to face him slowly, her cheeks making their best efforts to force all of Estella's blood up to her face. "Err...uh, hallo, Fatty," She faltered, staring intently at her curly- haired toes. "I, uh...I didn't expect anyone to...uh...walk in...as it was." She lifted her eyes to see her brother shaking his head and laughing quietly. "Estella, sister dear, you know there are no more battles to fight in the Shire. Merry and Pippin have seen to that." He smiled fondly at his friends' names but Estella rolled her eyes. "Oh, please spare me the endearing details of their heroism!" She snorted, embarrassment quickly forgotten. Fatty searched her face for a brief second. "They really are good lads, you know." He eyed her warily. "They're going to make a lass very happy someday."  
  
Estella choked. "Gods, Fatty, not you, too!" she moaned. "It's bad enough mother's always on my tail for not wanting anything to do with boys, but my own brother! You speak like a boastful mother hen exhibiting her pride chicks!" "Well, you are of age," came the reply, "and certainly too old for such nonsense as I saw you taking part in just a few minutes ago." "Fatty, you know I was just playing around! I had a particularly disgusting dream last night I wanted to forget as soon as a Hobbit possibly could." "Oh?" Fatty asked, suddenly interested. "Prithee, what about?"  
  
After a halting rendition of Estella's dream, Fatty was nearly in tears from laughing so hard and Estella was angry. "To think my baby sister," he giggled, "is having wee dreams about moonlit escapades with lovey Hobbit lads!" He lapsed into a fit of helpless laughter. "Come on, it's not like I wanted to have it or anything," Estella said, glaring at him as she yanked a dress out from her drawer. "I'll have you know I was about to lose last night's midnight snack. Just ask the geranium." She gestured towards the plant.  
  
Soon afterwards, Fatty took his leave, muttering something about invisible Orcs, romantic dream-strolls and talking plants, still laughing quietly. Estella made sure the door was closed a little harder than necessary behind him. "Bloody insolent little tweak," she muttered as she pulled on the dress. "I'll show him just what one wee Hobbit lass can do."  
  
A/N: thankee for reading. I've probably already got a dwindling audience (Tidbit tells me I probably won't have an audience at all by now. I say poo on him... bloody muses) but I promise things will pick up when more characters have been introduced. Like Merry. Wink wink. I know this is a bit of fluff, but I wanted to... a) get a feel for what I was writing, and help you (the reader) get a feel for what you're reading, b) introduce characters somewhat so you'll know how I'm portraying them. And c) give people a chance to get familiar with my name and the title so they can avoid me in the future, should the need arise. See you next chapter! (Hopefully...maybe...) :oP 


	2. Lady Lessons and Unfortunate Clarity

A/N: Wow, you're back! waves Hi! I guess you've gotten over the worst of it- at least, I hope that was the worst...looking at this chapter, maybe not...j/k! Feel free to flame me, it warms my toesies at night.   
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Only some socks. Which also keep my toesies warm at night.

* * *

A fly buzzed on the windowsill, fanning its ever-seeing face with ragged wings. That, Estella thought, must be bliss. The afternoon sun flooded through the open windows of the Hobbit holes all across Hobbiton, and Fern Harfoot's parlor was sweltering. Estella and a group of half a dozen other young Hobbit maids were seated in a semi-circle around Fern, who was attempting to show them a basic knit stitch around her swollen stomach. Her five other children were sleeping off the heat, which Estella wished desperately she was doing as well. Silently she reprimanded herself and tried- tried very hard- to pay attention. Somehow, though, she couldn't imagine ever needing a nice, thick woolen sweater when even her thin cotton dress was pasted to her skin.  
  
Finally the lesson ended and the lasses were free to go. Estella was all to eager to flee the village to run down to the stream. Of course, being a good, respectable Hobbit from a good, respectable family, she could not swim, but it did no harm to sit on the dock and dangle her toes in the water. Besides that, her mother had told her before Lessons that she may, so of course it was alright. Rushing along with her head bowed, so as not to trip on any stones, it seems Estella was a little too eager, and not careful enough. In her haste, she plowed right into another Hobbit.  
  
With a cry of dismay, she got up of the ground and looked down to the poor Hobbit she had knocked down. She grimaced, noticing a large, flat rock near her victim's head. "Oh, no...." she groaned softly. With some trouble, she managed to roll the comatose Hobbit over so as to see his face. She stopped cold, and rolled her eyes, shoving the Meriadoc Brandybuck:s head off her lap. He was still unconscious, but she wasn't about to revive _him_. The longer his mouth could stay shut, the better.  
  
She walked off the way she came, her hopes of visiting the stream dashed. She didn't feel regretful, or embarrassed, or even a bit of pity for Merry. She was just angry at him for ruining a perfectly fine, if not uncomfortably warm, afternoon. Merry awoke a few hours later in the gathering dusk and wondered how he had gotten so drunk as to not remember how he came to be unconscious in the middle of the street. He hadn't had any ale- or at least, none that he remembered having- but he shrugged it off, deciding, after all, it had happened before and would most likely happen again.  
  


* * *

The rest of the day passed uneventfully for the Bolger family, and the night was just as hot and still as the day. Estella retired to her room early with a candle, meaning to read some, but decided against it at the last minute, merely blowing out her candle and crawling between the cool sheets instead. The heat made her feel drunk and heavy headed, and she fell asleep soon after.  
  
Fatty was woke up in the wee hours by a scream, seemingly coming from his sister's room. Pulling on his robe, more for decency than warmth, he dashed down the hall, expecting to find his sister maimed and dying. Instead she was sitting on the bed, her arms around her knees, face in her lap, rocking back and forth in the moonlight, shivering despite the warm air. She seemed to be humming, or possible chanting, to herself. Fatty rushed to her right away and threw his arm around her shoulder. "Estella, what's wrong?" he asked urgently. "Did someone break in? Did anyone hurt you? Are you-"Estella cut him off with a wave of her hand. "It's much worse than that," she said shakily, "It may threaten my very life!"  
  
Fatty, despite his own reproaches, was curious. No one seemed to have broken in, or to have hurt his sister, yet here she was, untouched but obviously traumatized. After a moment of silence broken only by Estella's chanting/ murmuring/ humming, Fatty prodded his sister gently. "Well?" he asked. "Are you going to tell me what happened?" Estella looked to her brother with tears in her eyes. "I had that dream again..." she whispered. Fatty stifled a laugh. "But I saw the faces this time. It was me...me and..." She shuddered violently and put her face back in her lap. "Come now," Fatty said, "surely it wasn't that bad? Won't you tell old Fatty who you were romancing with?" He gave her his best smile. "Please?"  
  
For a moment, all was silent. Then,  
  
"Mrrhdkk." came the muffled response. "What's that, dear? I can't hear you unless you face me." Fatty said sweetly. Estella looked him square in the eye and sighed, exasperated. "Well...If you must know..." "I must!" Fatty cut in. This would be good for a few laughs, if nothing else. Estella glared at him. "Alright..." she said, adding dramatic pauses. "It was...."  
  
Whoever had not been awake in that particular Hobbit-hole was certainly snapped out of slumber by the loud thunk of Fatty rolling off of Estella's bed, followed by screams of laughter and muffled shouts. Odovacar and Rosamunda burst into their daughter's bedroom expecting to find her grappling with a sable-clad thief, but found instead their son, helpless with laughter, being attacked by pillows wielded by his furious younger sister. The wise parents chose not to intervene, but instead to merely close the door and walk away. Smart Hobbits.  
  
A/N- again, thank you for reading through. Just some wildly fluffy fluff that's been floating around my head for awhile. Ch. 3 up soon, if anyone cares. [Tidbit: They don't.] slaps Tidbit I think- well, I hope, anyway- everyone can guess who was in Miss Estella's dream until next time! 


	3. A Trick and a Trip to Town

Life went on as usual for Estella, albeit more awkwardly around her brother's friends. They were over to the Bolger home constantly... or so it seemed to Estella. She hadn't been able to face Merry since she'd had that dream, nor Pippin, or even Sam, for that matter. It was all just too embarrassing. Fatty invited her in enough, for sure, giving her meaningful glances when he thought his friends wouldn't notice. But she would shake her head silently, not even stepping through the doorway. She was sure to never, ever make eye contact with anyone besides Fredegar; she knew they actually had caught all his subtle gestures and winks. It was more than she could stand to be laughed at. Fredegar, however, was not laughing. He cornered her one evening after the party had made their farewell and began wandering vaguely homeward, still laughing and joking. Fatty laughed along with them from the doorway and waved until they were nearly out of sight. Then he very slowly closed the door, turning quietly to find his sister, anger and concern on his face.  
She was in her room, reading. She didn't look surprised to see her brother in the doorway. She didn't even bother wondering why he looked so upset. "What," she said lazily, not even posing it as a question. Fatty sighed and dropped himself on the rug, closing the door behind him. "Estella... dear..." No, this wasn't working. He sounded more desperate than he wanted to. Frustrated, he burst out, "What is wrong with you? Do you have no manners?!" Estella looked at him, her face expressionless and even. "If I had no manners," she said calmly, "you would be running from my room with your tail between your legs." She went back to reading.  
"That...is not... what... I... meant!" Fatty growled through gritted teeth. "Estella, why can't you be sociable? I can hardly believe that a silly dream you had weeks ago would stop you from talking to Merry- or anyone, for that matter. Then again," he mused, almost to himself, "you never did like them much, did you?" Estella shook her head vigorously, eyes never leaving her book. Fatty ranted on for some time, his sister barely listening to him. Finally, she interrupted him. "As you've probably noticed," she began, "I haven't really been paying attention to you blathering on about how I should show some respect for your friends. You forget that they are your friends and I am under no obligation to show them any kindness."  
"You are, though!" Fatty cried, jumping up and beginning to pace in front of her window. Estella watched him from where she sat on the bed, an amused half-smile playing on her lips. A moment of silence passed, Fredegar pacing, Estella watching him, book laid aside. Fatty broke the peace with a punch of his fist into the air. "I have it!" he shouted, heedless of the late hour and open window. He went over to her bed and sat at her feet, taking one of her hands in his. "Stelly, I know what I'll do. You won't like it at first, but I promise you will enjoy it, should you let yourself." Estella winced inwardly. He only called her Stelly when he really wanted something. He hadn't held her hand in years. And his voice made him sound really, really pathetic.  
She closed her eyes and sighed. "Fine, Fatty. For you." He beamed at her silently, approval and happiness written plainly in his kind brown eyes. "Now, what is it you want me to do?" His eyes suddenly shone and his grin broadened into a wide, malicious smile. "Come with me to the party at Brandy Hall next week."  
  
Estella was paralyzed for a moment, then shrieked and pulled away from him. "A dance?! Fredegar Odovacar Bolger, you wouldn't dare!" "Oh, but wouldn't I," he said, smirking delightedly at her disgust. "It's formal, too. You'll need a nice dress, and some slippers, and new gloves, and you'll have to borrow some of mother's jewelry..." Estella looked at him in horror as he named each accessory she absolutely mustn't be caught dead without. Why was he enjoying this so much? "Everyone will be there," he said. "Sam will bring Rosie, and Frodo will come, and I think Pippin is going to take that Diamond lass, and of course, Merry—"Estella's face went suddenly stony. "No!" she said vehemently. "I will not be so much as seen in the same room with Meriadoc Brandybuck!" Fredegar's wretched grin crept back upon his face. "Oh yes, you will," he giggled. "And I will personally see to it you dance with him as well." She could only stare disbelievingly.  
  
The next day, Estella went to town at dawn. The farmers had already set up their stands and the merchants were just starting to assemble theirs. She picked over some of Maggot's crops, constantly eyeing the weaver's stand. It was inevitable; she would have to go and ask for some cloth. After some time, she sighed and said her farewells to Lily Maggot, walking as slowly as she possibly could to the weaver's stand, heart sinking with every step.  
"Estella?" a surprised voice asked from behind her. "Estella Bolger?" she cursed as she recognized the voice as Merry. Half a moment later, he was standing in front of her, smiling gleefully. "Little Stelly in town all by herself? And buying ribbons, no less." She threw the offending scraps of cotton onto the counter, startling the merchant awake from his nap.  
"My name is not Stelly, Mister Brandybuck!" she said coldly. "And I will have you know that the only reason I am at this stand is because my back-stabbing brother tricked me—stop giggling, you overgrown infant— into going to your idiotic party next week." She spat the word 'party' like it was venom on her tongue. Merry's snickers escalated into snorts at her last proclamation. He stopped quickly at the look she was giving him.  
"You mustn't take it like a death sentence, little Stelly. A bit of socializing never hurt anyone." She clenched her jaw but said nothing. Before she could stop him, he was pulling out a bolt of cloth and holding it in front of her. She stepped back, horrified.  
"I am not wearing that!" she half-whispered. "It's...it's..." she couldn't finish her sentence. 'Pink' would have been a good adjective to use. Or 'frilly'. Or 'feminine'. But the last word she would have used was... "Gorgeous!" Merry declared. "It will look wonderful on you, Stelly!" "No, it won't, Master Brandybuck, because that...that... atrocity is not coming anywhere near me!" She ripped it unceremoniously from his hands and handed it back to the (very bewildered) storekeeper, who put it mutely back.  
  
Merry, meanwhile, looked hurt. "Well, you must have something, you can't very well go in that." He said, gesturing pointedly to her worn brown dress and ragged green apron. She glanced at her attire and blushed deeply. Instead of looking back at him, though, she turned her attention to the storekeeper. "May I have a look at the cream muslin, please? And the green cotton, if you would." The merchant obliged and Estella saw Merry nod approvingly in the corner of the stand. She rolled her eyes, thanked the storekeeper, and fingered the cloth. As far as she could see, it was serviceable, so she asked for five lengths of the muslin and four of the cotton and reached for the pouch with her coins in it. Before she could drop them on the counter, however, Merry was beside her, calmly paying for the cloth and swinging her now-full basket of the counter. The merchant took the payment without batting an eye. Estella tried to grab at the basket and the coins at once, failing at both. "Meriadoc! I can pay for my own goods!" "don't worry about it, Estella," he said with a small smile. "It's nothing." Once again she turned to the shopkeeper, who was currently counting Merry's coins, much to her distress. "No...don't... he's not..." Apparently, sorting coins is much more interesting business than listening to the feeble protests of a young hobbit lass, for the merchant paid no heed. He finished counting, scooped the coins into his hands and bid them good day with a wide smile.  
  
Defeated, Estella turned to Merry. What in the world...?What is he doing with his elbow- oh no. No. No no no...Sure enough, Merry was offering her his arm, the basket swinging idly from his other, grinning crookedly. Estella looked at him. Looked at his offered arm. Looked back at him. And as pointedly as she could manage without speaking, she crossed her arms, tilted her nose to the sky and walked away. Merry would have to do a lot more than just buy her cloth if he wanted to be seen in public with her. Her thoughts were interrupted, though, when a strong arm wrapped itself around her waist and pulled her off balance. At first she thought she was being attacked; her first instinct was to fight. Looking up into the face of her alleged attacker, she relaxed some. It was only Merry. Wait! What was Merry doing with her arm around her waist?! She pulled away, seething, and glared at him. "You are one of the last people I want to be seen in public with. And you are the last person I want to put their arm around my waist- in public!" She let out a little cry of rage, grabbed her basket from his arm, and stormed away, leaving Merry in the middle of the market feeling snubbed.  
  
A/N: Eeep, you're still with me. Hooray! I realize something is wrong with my apostrophes and I am really, truly, sincerely sorry about that. I also realize this chapter was maybe not as good as the other ones, but hey, at least there's a plot developing, eh? Next chapter: The Dance! 


	4. Dances with Spiders

A/N: Hehe, I lied, it's not the dance... yet. Bear with me, it's coming in no time at all! In the meantime, please enjoy this bothersome little plot bunny... ;-) ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"You know," Merry said, peering over his mug of tea at Fredegar Bolger, "I don't think your sister is all too fond of me." Fatty snorted.  
  
Merry's heart soared...  
  
"That is the understatement of this age, Master Meriadoc!" Fatty said, reaching for his own mug.  
  
...and plummeted.  
  
So it was true, then. Estella genuinely disliked him. It wasn't some girlish game to mask her affections as he had thought, and in retrospect, had hoped.  
  
Fatty and Merry were sitting in the Bolger's parlor, idly sipping tea and chatting as Estella and Peony Underhill (who was being escorted to the party by Fredegar) were dressing. It had hardly been a quarter hour, and the lads decided it would be at least an hour more before they emerged. It was comfortable, though, sitting and chatting with one's best friend over tea, the possibilities of the pending night limitless. Merry was excited; he had been to parties before, of course, but never one quite this formal, and never one where an escort was required. He blushed inwardly as he thought of Estella's coldness the week before.  
  
Am I really that awful? He asked himself. He didn't ponder long, however, because his thoughts were interrupted by decidedly feminine laughter coming from down the hallway. Merry, looking at Fatty, saw his face visibly blanch. He himself was nervous, admittedly. More than nervous. Terrified. He was escorted Estella to a dance. For a moment more he was lost in those words... Escorting Estella to a dance. Being with her all evening... dancing with her...He shook himself back to reality as Peony's unmistakable voice called from the doorway.  
  
"Freddy! Merry! Are you in here?" she peeked her head around the corner just in time to see a very befuddled Fredegar jump up suddenly to greet her, spilling his tea all over his best trousers in the process. Between the burning liquid running down his semi-exposed calves and onto his large, hairy feet, the shock of seeing Peony so suddenly and so glamorous, and general shock at himself for his clumsiness, he was rendered speechless.  
  
Peony, being her jovial, easy-going self, laughed. Freddy, cheeks burning and not knowing what else to do, laughed along with her. Merry couldn't resist a chuckle himself- what a pair these two would make!  
  
"Now," Peony said, "If you two are done spoiling your suits and are ready to behold a vision..." Merry swallowed nervously. "Go sit down, for Valinor's sake!" She laughed again, and exited, presumably to get Estella. Merry did so promptly, but Fatty stood gaping a moment at the now-empty doorway, then risked a glance at his pants and winced. Sighing, he sat next to Merry.  
  
Estella examined herself critically in the mirror. She never was one for frippery, but some feminine reserve buried deep under her façade rejoiced at her reflection. Her brown curls had been brushed and rubbed with sweet lavender oil until they shone, then pulled into a loose bun at the nape of her neck, all bound together with a dark green ribbon. The muslin had been trimmed and altered, pinned, tucked, primped, sewn, and shaped (with much help from Peony) into a rather- nay, extremely- becoming dress. The bodice of green cotton made a pleasing contrast, and even Estella was impressed. Her face was scrubbed clean, the hair on her feet neatly brushed, a choker of shining white stones around her neck- "pearls", Peony had called them, though Estella could see no resemblance to Peregrin's elder sister- she had even donned smooth white gloves, a gift from her mother.  
  
Peony bustled in the door, looking quite the show-stopper. Her dress was of deep green, speckled with tiny white-and-pink daisies and offset by the creamy tan on the piping and bodice . Her hair, which caused so much speculation round her hometown, was loose down her back. It was dark, woody, red-brown, a color rarely seen adorning the heads of Hobbits. Not only that, it was straight as sticks and refused to hold curl, unlike the irrepressible ringlets most of her kin couldn't seem to be rid of. She looked more Elf than Hobbit; naturally she was always the belle of the ball, and Estella was especially honored to be considered her friend.  
  
Peony's face was flushed with excitement. "Well?" she asked Estella, eagerly shifting her weight from foot to foot and grinning with excitement. "are you ready to show them?" It was obvious she could hardly contain her glee, but Estella was reluctant to show her newly girlish self to her brother and- worse yet- Merry. She half-heartedly adjusted a curl atop her head, tugged at her skirt, and nodded.  
  
"Wonderful!" Peony cried, grabbing her hand and half-dragging her out of her room. Estella was glad she had such a firm grip; otherwise Estella might have marched back to her room and pulled of her finery straight away. Yet Peony took no notice of her reluctance and managed to fit in a steady stream of babble between Estella's bedroom and the door of the parlor.  
  
As they approached the round doorway, Estella heard voices. She realized Merry and her brother were probably laughing at her already. She shrunk back into the shadows, the polar opposite of her friend, who waltzed into the middle of the room. Peony just stood there for a moment, smiling wildly at the two expectant (and nervous) lads, then declared. "She's ready! And she looks marvelous, too!" She stood aside as if to showcase her friend, realizing a heartbeat later she wasn't there.  
  
Estella was being dragged back to the parlor, gloomier than ever. She had been on the homestretch, just crossing the threshold of her room, ready to bolt the door behind her and not come out until next Thrimidge, when Peony had intercepted her and dragged her back.  
  
A slightly out-of breath (yet still radiant) Peony was standing in the middle of the room again, clutching the wrist of what appeared to be a cowering shadow behind her. "Now," she said, panting slightly, "I want you to meet (huff) the new Est(puff)ella! (wheeze)" She dragged the sullen figure behind her into the light.  
  
Standing in front of Merry was, he was sure, an angel. Perhaps a slightly mussed and more-than-slightly cranky angel, but a vision of (to him) beauty. He was wide-eyed with wonder, with Fatty giggling nervously beside him, when a sudden movement on Estella's shoulder caught his eye. His first thought was a half-formed memory of his mother telling him of Eru on one shoulder and Melkor on the other, but it was quickly here and gone again like smoke in the wind.  
  
Then he noticed the thing had eight legs, was black, hairy, and abnormally large for an arachnid. And it was slowly creeping it's way across Estella's chest. She was still too absorbed in being sullen to notice anything amiss.  
  
Very slowly, he stood and advanced towards the lass, her eyes growing wider at every step. Peony looked nervous and Fredegar was looking from his sister from his friend, trying to figure out what Merry was doing, and even more than that, if he should stop him.  
  
"Merry...?" Peony said, peering anxiously at him from behind Estella's shoulder. He put up a reassuring hand to silence her. Estella's normally large eyes were abnormally widened, looking as if she were about to pass out. What was he thinking? Why did he have that look in his eye? And why, why, why did he keep coming closer?!  
  
Before any of them (sans Merry) had really realized what was going on, Merry swiped his hand out. Estella, fearing physical contact, jumped back with a yelp, clinging to Peony's skirt. Merry caught the now-airborne spider neatly in his hand, his fingers closed over it before any of them could see it.  
  
He turned to Fatty, winked, then faced the girls again, grinning. He opened his palm to reveal a large, hairy, many-legged something. "Spider," he said simply, tossing it into the fire.  
  
Estella fainted. 


	5. You Do WHAT at a Dance?

A/N: Wheeee! Reviewers! Now a really long author's note...  
  
Estella Brandybuck: Thank you! Thank you! THANK YOU! *hugs* you were my very first reviewer, how cool is that? I like your name, by the way, lol. You rock!  
  
Call Me Celeb: Hehe, glad you like it. I have posted; rejoice and let thy heart be glad! Hehe, honestly, though, thank you! I try ;-)  
  
Jedi-Baggins: Thank you for pointing that out! I guess I was having an elf moment there, just kind of spacing off. I did fix it, though (huzzah!). As for the parentheses things, that's a glitch, I guess. I had them as apostrophes but FF.N changed them (much to my annoyance). By the way, Krutch and Relient K are two of my favorite bands too, though I've only heard Superchic[k] once or twice. Ever heard of Five Iron Frenzy? They rock my socks. Sorry, I'm rambling. Thank you!  
  
Just a brief note: the character of Peony is based loosely on my best friend (whose Hobbit name is Peony Underhill) so that's where her name and personality came from, if you were wondering. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
After Estella had been successfully revived, Fatty calmed and changed out of his sodden pants, and Peony had come out of her hysterics, the four of them were sitting comfortably in a wooden carriage, waiting to depart.  
  
It was cooling off considerably and the crickets had come out and began their nightly jig; the stars were just beginning to peek out of the curtain of dusk. Estella, leaning out of her window, sighed, a whisper of a noise barely audible to any but her own ears. The world was at it's most beautiful now, the trees black against a slowly darkening sky, the remnants of a golden sunset splayed in the west.  
  
A sudden jolt stirred her from her thoughts and she heard Peony laugh nervously from within. Slowly, reluctantly, she pulled herself back to the carriage scene. Peony and Fredegar had insisted upon sitting together on one side of the carriage, and Estella strongly suspected it was only for their enjoyment. Then again, she thought with grim satisfaction, Merry doesn't look too happy either.  
  
It was not a long ride, and the quartet arrived at Brandy Hall sooner than expected. A few guests milled about the lawns, attempting, most likely, to look important. Estella noticed vaguely the richness of their attire, the elegance in which they carried themselves. They must be dancers, she thought. Then a thought struck her.  
  
She couldn't dance.  
  
A few older hobbits, sitting on an old wooden seat on the front lawn of the luxurious Brandy Hall grounds, were sharing stories and a bag of pipeweed when Peregrin Took, grinning hugely at the sight of his cousin, vaulted between them, landing unceremoniously on the ground. He scrambled to his feet, smoothing his clothes as he bolted towards Merry.  
  
Diamond North-took rolled her eyes, sighed, and walked around the bench, apologizing profusely to the old disgruntled gentlehobbits. They waved their hands dismissively, said it was no problem, pinched her cheeks, and sent her on her way. Diamond wondered just how much pipeweed they'd had to not notice a fully-grown hobbit launching himself over them. She apologized again and followed after her irrepressible escort.  
  
"Peony!" Estella hissed, grabbing her friends arm. Peony turned her attention from Fatty, holding up a finger to show him she'd only be a moment, and mouthed, "what?" She didn't look exactly pleased that Estella had interrupted them. Fatty, however, looked crestfallen for only a moment before turning to Merry (who was currently being prodded, poked, and joked at by his cousin Peregrin). Estella rolled her eyes and dragged her friend over to an empty corner.  
  
Estella, took a deep breath and said, "I have to leave. Now." "But why?" Peony said, sounding like a child torn from their toy. Obviously, she didn't want to leave.  
  
"I...well, I probably could, but... I mean, I can't... well, it's not that I can't... actually, I can't ... But I don't want to anyway, so-" "Estella Rosamunda Bolger, what in Arda are you talking about!?" Estella took another a deep breath, then pulled Peony in closer. "I... well... I can't dance." Her eyes flew immediately downward, her face a glorious shade of rose.  
  
Peony blinked.  
  
Peony snorted.  
  
Peony started laughing so hard she fell over.  
  
"I fail to see what is so funny about this," Estella said through clenched teeth. Peony's laughter subsided into giggles, and, wiping tears from her eyes, she managed to snicker out, "Stelly, have you no thought in that head of yours? You've known for over a week you were going to a party- a dancing party- and it just strikes you now that you don't know how to dance?" She succumbed to laughter once again.  
  
Estella smiled a little, ruefully. It was true, she could be rather forgetful at times. But how in the world had she missed this major detail? She had had everything planned out perfectly. It was, after all, her first dance, and a part of her was incredibly excited.  
  
"Well, there's no way 'round it," Peony declared. Estella sighed in relief. She could go home.  
  
"You'll need lessons!" Peony squealed, holding Estella firmly by the hand and searching for any empty room in which to instruct Estella. Racing from room to room and muttering to herself, Peony was making enough of a spectacle of herself to get anyone's attention. Fortunately, though, that attention came in the form of Diamond, who (being rather exasperated with Pippin) had come to have a nice chat, and, moreover, get away from the now- abandoned escorts. One can hardly blame her.  
  
"Savior!" Estella cried rapturously as Diamond rounded on them. As they had never been introduced before, Diamond was more than a little surprised when the older lass flung her arms around Diamond's neck. "I'm guessing you would be Estella..." Diamond said into her shoulder. "What's that, dear?" Estella asked, pulling away from her. Diamond cleared her throat and looked at Estella form under raised eyebrows for a moment before speaking. Estella took the point and blushed a little.  
  
"I said, I'm guessing you would be Estella." "That would be quite right," Peony said curtly. "And I am Peony of the Underhills. Who, then, does that leave you to be, and why were you interrupting our dance lesson?" she stressed the last two words. Diamond's brow furrowed. "Dance... lessons?" she asked, smirking. "Isn't that a little... err... impromptu?"  
  
Peony let out a little giggle. "more than impromptu. Out Stelly here apparently didn't think there would be dancing at this particular dancing party." Diamond laughed as well. "I'm Diamond," she stated factually. "A North-Took of Long Cleeve, if you will. You can call me Di, if you like, most of my friends do." She stuck out her hand, then looked down at it, winced, drew it back, and dropped a curtsy instead.  
  
Estella was laughing now. "No need for formalities, Di dear," she said, taking to the girl right away. Taking to her so much, in fact, she seized Diamond's hand and pumped it vigorously for a few seconds, then dropped it.  
  
"Girls, girls, the time!" Peony cried, looking at Earendil making his way across the sky. "We've only half an hour before the dancing begins!" Again, she seized Estella's hand and motioned for Diamond to take the other, which she promptly did. As the two more experienced girls carted her along, Estella felt as though she were being led to her doom. 


	6. In the Company of the Stars

A/N: Wow...reviews... *goes all dreamy and happy* Put simply...words cannot express my gratitude. Thank you, gracias, hannon le, danke she, domo arigato, mille grazi, merci beaucoup, mange takk, Obrigado... above all and once again, THANK YOU for sticking with me, especially since I've been taking so long! Yo ro shi ku. By the by, there's a bit of foreshadowing here, and (finally) some semi- positive interaction between Stell and Merry. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Step one two, step one two, good, goo- OW!" Peony cried out in pain and held her trodden toes in one hand, wincing painfully and hopping about on the other. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I didn't try to!" Peony abandoned the wince for a glare towards Estella. "Of course you didn't mean to, blockheaded Bolger, but I get the feeling you aren't trying very hard! Di, my feet will be in no shape for real dancing if I don't stop soon. Would you kindly continue?" And Peony limped out of the room, muttering, presumably to reunite with Fatty.  
  
Estella looked at Diamond, hopelessness written plainly on her face. Diamond smiled kindly at her in return and patted her back. "'Tis not that hard, lass. Bear with me and we'll see what we can do." Estella smiled weakly. "I...guess so..." "Good lass, that's what I want to hear. Now, you're going to have to step forward here, then shift your weight..."  
  
Not half an hour later, the two girls emerged from the room, Estella carrying herself straighter and with a new gleam in her eye. Diamond followed, smiling and somewhat footsore. Their escorts were upon them almost immediately, fussing and worrying. "Where have you been? You've had us worried sick!" Merry said, taking one of Estella's hand in his own. Estella, for once, did not dismiss him coldly, but rather withdrew her hand and laughed. "Dancing," she replied simply. Diamond laughed from next to her, where Pippin was pouting. "You could have told us," he said resentfully. "Merry and I thought we were dealing with ub... ubduck... ubduckshin." He pronounced the last word with a great flourish, as though he should be receiving praise for his vast vocabulary. Merry laughed. "Abduction, Pip," he corrected gently. "And we weren't quite that worried- though maybe Master Took here was afraid his lass would be whisked off by some lad more dashing than himself-"He was cut off by a snort from Pippin. "please, Merry, you know I'm the most dashing-est lad around!" And so, laughing and joking, they made their way to the Great Hall.  
  
Estella couldn't- wouldn't- eat. The excitement was making her head buzz, coursing through her veins. She didn't need to eat; in fact, at the moment, she didn't feel like she'd ever need to sleep again either. Besides, eating was only the beginning, and (as amusing it was to be in the presence of Pippin, Merry, Fatty, Peony and Diamond) the real fun was yet to begin. Finally, the dishes were whisked away, the tables brought out of the room, and the music began.  
  
Peony promptly began making eyes at Fredegar, who in turn whisked her out onto the floor. Pippin grinned at Diamond, who rolled her eyes and allowed herself to be dragged after the first pair. Merry, in the meantime, was trying his hardest to get Estella's attention. Estella was trying her hardest to avoid his gaze. Finally he touched her arm lightly. "Come on, Stelly," he said, his eyes big and pleading. "You can't go to a party and not dance!"  
  
She stared back at him boldly. "Merry, I have told you before and I will say it again: I do not want to be seen in public with you. I have only to dance with you once, and I assure you, it will be at the last possible moment. Go find yourself a blushing lass who will throw herself into your arms readily and, I beg of you, leave me be!"  
  
Meriadoc the magnificent had seen wars. He had seen blood, death, orcs... but, surprisingly, he was a little shaken by the rancor in her voice. He did not quail, though. Instead, He took Estella's arm firmly and said in a low voice, "I came as your escort. To not dance with you would be an atrocity. So," he began leading her to the dance floor. "Despite what your brother told you, you will dance more than once, unless you want all the old hens in the community gossiping about your behavior."  
  
Estella wrenched away, eyes blazing. "Let them talk!" she spat. "I have no need for you to tell me what to do- I can make my own decisions perfectly fine!" She stormed out of the hall, slamming the great heavy doors behind her and causing the room to fall silent. Dozens of confused hobbits looked to the door, then at Merry. He looked as if he'd been slapped. Hands akimbo, mouth slightly open, he stared after her a minute then turned to face the crowd. He gave a weak smile and shrug. "Guess the corset's a little too tight," he said. The guests laughed nervously as the band began to play again and Merry slipped quietly out after Estella.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Estella cut across the grounds, slipping a little on the slightly dewy grass. It was a beautiful night, but Estella was in no mood to enjoy it. She kicked a bush and turned over a bench before she finally sat down in the grass and put her head in her hands. Her cheeks burned with anger and humiliation. "Oh, let them talk!" she muttered pulling at the grass. A few minutes passed, and she noticed through dewy eyes a large pair of definite hobbit feet in front of her.  
  
"Estella," Merry said, and dropped down beside her. She turned away. "Go back to your fancy hall, Master Brandybuck," she said, sneering. "You'll do nothing but ruin your clothes by sitting out here. Go back, and trouble me no longer!" He sighed audibly, and it was a long while before he spoke again. "I have seen enough of grand halls," he said softly. "I care not for merely a set of clothes. I care about you, though, Estella. Are you alright?"  
  
She punched the ground in response, leaving a large hole. "I am fine, Meriadoc. I intend to stay that way. Now please..." her voice weakened and trailed off. She took a breath and began again, more gently this time. "You're missing everything by just sitting out here with me. Go back and enjoy your party; I'll go home. It's where I belong." She got up to go, but Merry rose with her and put a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Wait," he said, searching desperately for an excuse. "Don't go yet. You..." he smiled as he thought of it. "You promised me one dance." He bowed in all formality. "But the hall--" Estella said, brow furrowed in confusion. Merry cut her off gently. "Just you and me, Stella." He said softly, "And the stars." Estella, helpless to do anything else, grudgingly gave him her hand. Immediately he pulled her closer, and, although she was tense and reluctant, she placed her hand on his shoulder. It was a new experience; she could feel Merry's heartbeat, feel the warmth of his body, his strong arms... and, she noticed, he was much taller than her. Suddenly she felt ridiculous, like a little girl dancing with her imaginary friend. Merry, however, seemed to have none of the same feeling; his eyes were open, his face tilted up, searching the skies and bathed in starlight. He seemed immortal to her then, still young but carrying the hurts of many lifetimes. Estella felt more than foolish, then- here she was, just an ordinary lass, dancing with one of the most renowned warriors the Shire had ever seen, alone under the stars.  
  
"Merry..." she murmured. Inexplicably, unexpectedly, she gave a little sob. Merry immediately let go of her and kneeled down. "What's wrong, Stelly?" he asked worriedly, brushing fingers across her cheek. She shuddered under his touch and turned her face away from him. "Estella...?" She broke away altogether and put hid her face in her hands. Merry was growing more anxious by the minute. Just my luck, he thought bitterly. Manage to get a dance with Estella and then make her cry. Way to go, Brandybuck. "Estella, you have to tell me what's wrong!" "she faced him, her eyes bright with tears. She opened her mouth to speak, but then shook her head and turned to go. Merry racked his brain, cursing himself for having no experience with lasses.  
  
Estella was already several meters away when she felt Merry's hand on her shoulder. Turning to face him, to tell him off, she suddenly found herself completely wrapped in his arms. Before she knew what was happening, his mouth was on hers, soft and warm and comforting. For a heartbeat, she was too shocked to do anything. She had never been kissed before, and this was nothing like she would have imagined it to be. It was Merry who was kissing her, of course it was nothing like she'd imagined! Then the full impact of the thought hit her.  
  
Merry was kissing her.  
  
Estella pulled away, but Merry still held onto her arms. Seeing her face, he began to explain. "Estella, I thought--" The words were hardly out of his mouth when her hand connected to the side of his face. "The problem was, Master Brandybuck, that you did not think. What right do you have," she said, her voice low and deadly, "to be .. to be doing that?" Merry stared. "I was not crying because I loved you desperately, or anything of the disgusting sort. I was crying because I realized what you've lowered yourself to." Estella's voice softened a little. "You're the most honored warrior in the Shire, Meriadoc. I am nothing but a simple lass. Your friend's little sister. I'm nothing to you; you're wasting your time. I bid you goodnight." She crossed the yard and re-entered the hall as surreptitiously as she could. The rest of the night she did nothing but avoid questions, and, moreover, Merry. 


	7. Thoughts

A/N: Since I know chapters that are only Author's notes are not allowed, I'm going to put up an uber-short blurb and get to business. So...  
  
"Estella..."  
  
"No."  
  
"Please, Stelly?" his eyes were pleading. "please?"  
  
Estella looked across the table at her brother. "Fine" she snapped. "just one question." Fatty beamed at her, satisfaction written plainly on his face. "That's my girl, Stella!" Then he laughed jovially and patted her shoulder. Estella grit her teeth and said nothing. Fatty regained himself, and, in formal tones, said, "Now, you must tell me what's wrong with Merry. Why do you keep turning him down, Estella?" She glared. "You cheated--"She was cut off by Fatty's protests. "You cheated, or you can't count. That's two things." Fatty rolled his eyes. "Fine then, what's so bad about Merry?"  
  
Estella thought for a moment, lingering over the many things she didn't like about him. She realized suddenly there really weren't that many reasons to hate him. Disgruntled, Estella said simply, "I... I guess I just don't like him. He's arrogant, boastful..." She was cut of by a snort from Fredegar. "Estella, please, if you paid the boy any attention, he's obviously smitten with you. It's common knowledge! And it's not that he's arrogant, he's just considered a hero; he doesn't even talk about the quest that much..." Seeing the expression on his sister's face, Fatty sighed and pushed away from the table. "Fine," he said angrily. "but think this over, Estella: every lass in the Shire wants Merry for herself. And the only one he wants turns him down. Think about it." And he left the room, leaving Estella already deep in thought.  
  
A/N: Let me just start out with a big thank you to my reviewers. However, I don't think I will be continuing the story. I guess you could just say my fandom is slowly slipping away. It's hard to concentrate, and I've had major issues with getting this last chapter out. It's not helping that every time I sit down to write I glance out the window and it's beautiful out... I'm really busy with school and whatnot, not to mention I'm seriously doubting my writing abilities. Reviews are ever-welcome, though, so please tell me whether or not you want me to continue. It's kind of going out on a limb, but if I do continue, I will maybe be looking for a beta reader. Check my profile for contact information, or just post here.  
  
And, by the by, if I quit this story doesn't mean I'm quitting writing. In fact, I plan to pursue it through college. Can't get rid of me that easily. Thank you for your time! 


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